So this will be a long one and will go back and forth may be hard to read.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT, VIOLENCE AND CHILD NEGLECT

So let me take u back to when i was child, I loved my childhood may not have been traditional but i loved it. I had friends, i had a loving mother and father, lived in a cul de sack. I loved that house and always wanted to buy it when i grew up and still would to this day. My sisters and i each had a tree in the garden mine was a apple tree hanging over the pond. It was a corner house so had a massive garden. Still remember sneaking over the back fence to go see my childhood friend. Sure things were a little different. My parents would take my sisters on holiday i would be sent to my cousins. They would go shopping and i remember from a very young sitting at my bedroom window watching them drive off crying my eyes out. But for the most of it i loved life.

My sisters shared a room and always hung out together but i didnt care cause that ment i got my own room to make my own and have space. We were in St Johns Ambulance Club and i remember being in tears cause my sisters had told everyone i was adopted. I didnt look like them with my blonde hair, blue eyes and skinny figure. My sister were dark brown hair and ginger with more of a stocky figure.

I went to several schools when i was young the first one i left as my older sister was being bullied and my mum wanted us to be in the same school so when she moved school i did. Then the next move was from primary to middle school. Then once again my sisters were being bullied and i was moved school to be with them again. i didnt mind I made friends easily back then. Always had people around me.

But life change one night… I was 9

Ok im going to have to do this in parts my heart is racing, starting to go into a panic attack. Never told anyone everything before and last time i wrote it down in a diary my ex read it and constantly accused me of loving being raped by my dad. Calling me daddies girl everytime we argued. So when im strong i will continue. But for now i will calm myself as if u have read previous posts u know i tend to do rash things xxxx