Suicide

I seem to be all doom and gloom lately.

It got to the point I couldn’t cope. Thinking going out with a gf would help.

It didn’t and last night I tried to kill myself

I did research and took the amount of meds it said would kill me. So why am I still here

I don’t believe in the  ‘I’m alive for a reason’.

I wrote my note I settled in bed. Put some music on and layed down. And I felt so warm and relaxed. It was the best I had felt in ages. I finally fell asleep.

But I was woken up by my ex (we live together as I’m disabled)

He has acted like nothing has happened. Helped me in a bath and to the toilet while I’m bringing sick. But won’t talk about last night or why I did it.

So here’s why

I’m just so alone. I can say I only really have 2 good friends and they live miles away.

I have to go work tomorrow and I know I will come home in agony.

Everyday is a pain day now.

I go to bed at 7 every night so my ex can game online.

So I sit in my room doing nothing

I know I will be called selfish as I have kids, but all they see is mummy in pain and in the hospital constantly.

Life has just got to hard. I have no mum or dad. My 5 sisters don’t wanna know me. Who do I run to to talk.