Definitely not ready to be alone.
But another day passes since I overdosed. No one who knows even cares.
When did society think its the norm or attention seeking for some one to overdose.
This wasn’t a little one this was 20+ mst tablets which 60mg can kill some one I took over 200mg.
I was found and looked after by my partner did all the right things to make sure I was OK.
But the whole time I just wanted to sleep and not wake up. I planned it for a few days.
But it failed. Now I have the aftermath. The comments, the looks off people at work.
I don’t even get a how are u? Was just told I’m close to loosing my job.
The ex thinks it was for attention.
Do I not show how I feel very well cause I’m broken inside. Barely functioning and really don’t wanna be alone.
I barely see my kids and work all hours for no money left at the end of the month.
I am failing as a mum. And there dad wants them full time.
Do I deserve to have kids. Is this why I had miscarriages cause I wasn’t worth being a mum.
I would have a 20 year old, 18 year old, 13 year old, 11,9 and 8 year old aswell.
But they are not here now.
I do have a 6 year old and 4 year old. But I’m barely there. I have missed so much of there lives. Even though I work hard I barely provide for them. So now sell my body online.
Porn is my only other income. I may smile online and act OK. But I hate it more then anything. Makes me feel horrible.
But there’s bills to pay and uniform to buy.
But for now I have to get thru a night alone to have another day at work.
Not sure how but gotta try
