so anyone that reads my blog u will know i have trouble with suicide and self harm
Tonight is different
I dont particulary feel depressed but something isnt right, its hard to explain. i think i have something wrong with me schizophrenia maybe, there is something worng.
I have been down all day fighting thoughts but i dont know i took the kids out today had a great day and now have the very very overwhelming thought that i can go now. like my mind is at peice. I had a god day with them. something they can remember. i was fine and its just hit me like a truck. my mind is saying it fine to leave now. i can go. i did my job.
but lately i cant control my thoughts or actions. my arm is cut to ribbons and my mind has been manic but now its calm. my mind and body is saying its ok now its time.
now im scared
im alone
i cant ask anyone to help as did that and lost everyone
crap
